Top 10 Action Dads

Relationships with our Dads both as Men or Woman can often be tricky and difficult things and this is reflected in movies where Dads tend to get a bit of a rough go of it. Initially, while trying to put together a list for Father's Day, I was finding it a little difficult until I went back to the trusty action genre where, while Dads may often not get it exactly right, as we will see, they are always trying their damned hardest against difficult odds.
Here then is our list of the Top 10 Action Dads!

10. Eddie Marino in Vigilante played by Robert Forster

Ok so again he may fail to prevent the death of his child but Eddie does hunt down the Che Guevara look-a-likes responsible (with the help of Fred "The Hammer" Williamson) and gets all violent and revengy on their punk asses.

9. Rama in The Raid 2: Berendal played by Iko Uwais

Although he doesn't get to see his kid very much in this sequel, Rama does get to hear him over the phone when he sneakily calls home, in one of the film's most heart wrenching and beautiful scenes. It's all been terrible luck really as, in order to protect his family, the initially hesitant Rama agrees to a plan which lands him in prison for an, unplanned, period of over 2 years. Still, don't lie, absentee or not, you'd want Rama as your Dad for when the going got rough.

8. John McClane in The Die Hard Franchise played by Bruce Willis

Although in the first 3 films of the famous franchise McClane gets more grief than praise as a father (somewhat unfairly one might add as he is busy saving people and stopping terrorists) in part 4 he saves and wins back his daughter's affection and in part 5 it's his son's turn. Both of them seemed to have been manipulated by their mother into unreasonably hating their father but I guess conflict eventually leads to contentment when they see him kicking ass and taking names.

7. Henry Jones, Sr. in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade played by Sean Connery

Although he might seem to have been an absentee father, more interested in the Grail legend than raising his son, and although he may initially shout at, question and annoy his son when they are reunited; Henry Jones, Sr. is every bit his son's equal in the adventure stakes, eventually and emotionally reconciles with him, is best friends with the legendary Denholm Elliot and played by James 'friggin' Bond!!

6. Damon Macready (Big Daddy) in Kick Ass played by Nicolas Cage

While many may and do question his daughter raising techniques there is no question that he loves his little Hit Girl more than anything. 

5. Det. Ken O'Hara in Bloodmoon played by Gary Daniels

From frolicking on the beach to sort of "saving" her from, what turns out to be, a confetti bomb at the end, Ken O'Hara is a dedicated and Britkicking father.

4. DEA Agent Phil Broker in Homefront played by Jason Statham

With this and Safe, Statham showed his softer side by first playing friend and then, in this, father to a young girl. Not that the criminals think he's soft when he beats up and kills anyone who threatens and then kidnaps his daughter. She's hardly a slouch in the fisticuffs stakes either as it is her take down of a brat, belonging to the junky sister of one of the crims, that sets this whole unfortunate ball rolling.

3. John Matrix in Commando played by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Another Dad off to save a kidnapped daughter but this time it's Arnie and he's enormous, greased up with enormous weaponry. You get in his way and you're toast and toast is what most people have for breakfast however John Matrix eats green berets for breakfast and right now, he's very hungry!

2. Clifford Worley in True Romance played by Dennis Hopper

In the ultimate act of bad assitude and fatherly love, Clifford Worley buys his son Clarence and his new bride, Alabama, time to escape and pays with his own life but not before delivering one of the finest scenes ever written for the screen opposite the legendary Christopher Walken.

1. Bryan Mills in Taken played by Liam Neeson

Neeson as Mills takes the top spot because despite his daughter being an absolutely annoying, reckless, hair brained, little tit who is indulged by her awful Mum and rich Step Dad, all of whom hate the sensible, stable, hard nut Mills, he still tears Paris a new arse hole and kills a million Albanians just to get her back. Now THAT's a father!

Honourable Mentions
Lincoln Hawk in Over The Top played by Sylvester Stallone

Technically more of a sports, contest, road movie, drama, action film but Hawk is doing it all to get his little boy away from the evil grasps of Robert Loggia even if he has to tear the sleeves off every jacket the kid's got to do it!

Tom Mullen in Ransom played by Mel Gibson

Again this is less of an action film and more of a thriller but still prime 90s Gibbo is going to do whatever he can to get his son back. Except, of course, pay the ransom... which he clearly has.

Hope you liked our list! Happy Father's Day to, the real number one Action Dad, Dr.Action! himself a father to 3 very cool girls and to all you fathers out there who diligently, continually rock with very little praise from your significant others or the world as a whole. 

- The Kick Ass Kid

PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR LATEST COMMENTARIES HERE!

Action movies we can't wait for!

SNITCH
A strong premise and a trailer that promises a great looking car chase has us excited for Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's next starring role.
Out February 22nd

OBLIVION

Tom Cruise fights Aliens on a distant planet but all may not be as it seems. The real reason I want to see this though? This image from the trailer...

Out April 19th

 



KICK ASS 2 - Balls to the Wall
While we don't intend to cover a lot of superhero stuff here on the blog, technically these aren't superheroes and secondly the first film was a joyous celebration of ultra violence, awesome action and fantastic swearing. We hope this continues for the sequel. Obviously the lack of Brit helmer Matthew Vaughn is a little cause for concern but we have our fingers crossed for this entertaining slice of lycra clad ass kicking.
Out June 28th

R.I.P.D.

While Ryan Reynolds isn't exactly a huge selling point for us, how about Kevin Bacon, Jeff "The Dude" Bridges, Robert Knepper from The Transporter 3 and Dr.Action Hall-Of-Famer JAMES mutherfunking HONG! Based on a graphic novel about a bunch of undead policemen, this could be some seriously cool action fun. We hope.
Out July 19th

MACHETE KILLS

Say what you like about the first one, the fact that Trejo's machete wielding federale is back is a good thing. It means lots of over-the-top action, shexy ladiesh and tons o'blood letting. What's not to love?
Out September 13th

THE TOMB
Outside of The Expendables this will be the first time where the two powerhouses of 80s action will share the screen. Stallone's been to prision before in Tango & Cash and Lock Up and the high concept of this action thriller is as intriguing as it is exciting. Sadly the lackluster and baffling responses to the fantastic The Last Stand and brilliant Bullet to the Head might effect this genius idea at the box office but let's hope not, let's hope people pull their heads out of their arses and realise that Stallone and Schwarzenegger in a movie together like this is a dream come true for all mankind.
Out September 27th

THEN THE STATH IS BACK!

HUMMINGBIRD
Statham has a busy work sheet at the moment and a good thing too because we need our favourite British action star to keep working! Hummingbird is all about an ex-special forces soldier finding himself homeless. No word yet on how much action there is, I think Statham described it more as a drama but whatever it is we'll be there opening night. Here are a few more pictures from the set:

 

 

HOMEFRONT

Originally intended as a Sylvester Stallone starring film, Sly, instead, handed this to his Expendables co-star Statham. The story of a DEA Agent tangling with a local meth druglord in small town America stars, apart from Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder and Kate Bosworth.

 

Both films are currently listed as having 2013 release dates although I imagine one will be early next year.

 

Then there's Expendables 3 news about it starting shooting as soon as this autumn!!

 

Stay Tuned, mumble and carry a big fucking gun - The Kick Ass Kid!

What's wrong with critics and action films?

Figures from Rotten Tomatoes:

The Last Stand - 59% Audience 68%

Parker - Critics 38% Audience 63% 

Bullet To The Head - 49% Audience 71%

I just got back from seeing Sylvester Stallone's latest film Bullet To The Head and basically I loved it. Was it flawless? no but was it well acted, well directed, with a great soundtrack and some great violent action? damn right it was! 

I am going to leave the full and official review to the doctor himself but something struck me checking out reviews and the like online after the film, I don't read them before the film I want to go in fresh, and that was when it comes to action, critics and audiences seem to be on opposite sides to each other.

The above scores from that loathsome and divisive website Rotten Tomatoes illustrate my point quite well and that's the only reason they're there.

Why can't critics review action well? maybe it's the same for all genres they arrogantly deem beneath them, maybe horror and comedy fair just as badly, I don't know I haven't done the research, but lately it sure feels like action is taking a beating.

My philosophy is that you review stuff within its genre. If you're a big budget blockbuster then I am going to stack you up against everything from Ghostbusters to The Dark Knight, if you're a quirky indie film then everything from Rushmore to Looking for a Friend at the End of the World is fair game and if you're action, especially a certain type of action, then you are going to be reviewed alongside Cobra, Die Hard and Commando.

Why do critics seemingly just rate everything on the same pointless and impossible scale? 

Why do critics go on about action stars not having depth of character or action films not having intricate plots?

They are seemingly willfully missing the point! 

Did they not see that Jason Statham just fired a flare gun from the nose of a fucking plane onto a gasoline covered pontoon and blew the fucker sky high?! The nose of a plane people!! AWESOME!

They dismiss death defying stunts, often performed for real by mere actors wanting authenticity and, yes, in a safe environment but show me Dustin Hoffman willing to climb down a building, hang off a helicopter or run out of an exploding building, even if offered a harness he'd nasally refuse and toddle off somewhere.

They dismiss the screen presence, the charisma, the athleticism, the enjoyment, the humour, the catharsis, the drama and the great feeling we all get when good triumphs over evil.

I wrote an article on here about Jason Statham and how he has constantly tried to do more, achieve more, work with interesting people, take interesting scripts and push himself. When you hear these guys in interviews they've thought about the character, the director, the great stunts, the chases, they care about their audience and they want to entertain but because they're not Daniel Snore Lewis, who is yet to be in one film I want to see ever, they don't get the time of day!

I just want The Kick Ass kid to like me... *sob*

Also action stars, like Stallone and Statham never get credit for their characterisations why? because they're not playing Mr.Darcy or mumbling pretentious, impenetrable shit in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie?

Yet Stallone is never the same person twice, seriously. Watch Rocky, Rambo, The Expendables, Cobra, Demolition Man, Bullet To The Head, hell watch fucking Over The Top for christ sake and each one is different. He uses different voices, changes his appearance, thinks about the way his character would walk, talk and the different weapons his guy would use to pulverise his next low-rent hood... all important things and all on screen for you to see.

Do you know how I know critics are full of shit? well look at the way they coo and swoon when someone like Stallone does a film like Copland or Bruce Willis does sensitive in Twelve Monkeys, they practically fall over their collective tongues to lick the stars balls! Or what about when they actually get in a room with these icons to interview them and they turn into girly, sycophantic wretches, just seconds away from wetting their draws in excitement. Then they get home to their little rooms and write about how there wasn't enough serious drama or character development in Expendables 2. Morons.

Serious drama just shit itself

The same goes for comedians when they play-it-straight, the critics act all surprised and taken a back that these guys can do a great performance but year after year they have entertained and excited audiences everywhere. That's no easy feet you know and should be acknowledged.

Our beloved action stars are having a rough time in the market place so far in 2013. It's down to a combination of the gun violence debate, bad press, bad marketing and a changed audience, that's clearly now 12 and would rather see glittery vampires, zombies in love, endless remakes and Paranormal Activity 14 (this time it slams a door and turns off a light in night vision! ooooh!) than these icons of cinema perform tremendous acts of physical endurance all wrapped up in an awesome, timeless tale that'll make you forget your rotten existence for 90 minutes!

I can't help but wander, though, that the rough time would be alleviated somewhat if some of these critics lightened the fuck up, pulled the 'worthy' 'earnest' drama stick out of their ass and reviewed some of these films as the damn good time that they are and are clearly meant to be and urged people to go see them. I have even read critics condemn perfectly good action films by getting involved in the gun debate instead of saying "That's reality and these are MOVIES". It's so irritating, unprofessional and down right bad at their job to not critique them within their own wheelhouse. 

Lastly, critics, stop fucking mentioning how old these guys are and how they're 'passed it'. Please call me when you're 64 and lets see if you could make Expendables 1, brake your neck, recover and then get back to work in a manner of days. It's awesome these guys are old and kicking ass, I'd take 1 Schwarzenegger over 50 Sam Worthingtons that's for damn sure! and how come Eastwood gets a pass? oh yeah because occasionally he directs worthwhile dramas about women who can box or war films about a battle from 70 years ago that everyone should really have gotten over by now! 

Get over yourself critics!

You're worthless idiot hacks and if you had any testicles you'd be dangerous.

Love The Kick Ass Kid

Statham wants to do an action comedy like Lethal Weapon

Jason Statham said this in a recent interview with Collider

Statham: I’d love to do a comedy. I’d love to do a two-hander like the old Leathal Weapon movies. I love those, like an action comedy with the straight man and the funny man. I’d love to do one of those. I really would. Just got to find one, find a funny man that wants to do one with me. 

First thing that went through my head was 'Why aren't I watching that RIGHT NOW?' and second was 'who would I want to co-star?'
So we're asking you, the Dr.Action and the Kick Ass Kid reader/listener to let us know WHO you'd like to see him partnered with.

I (the Kick Ass Kid) am a big Will Ferrell fan but sadly when he did his action comedy it was more comedy than action and they went with Marky Mark. Still, I could see Ferrell and Statham in a 70s action heist comedy for certain.
I also really dug the only-one-season show The Good Guys that managed, with Bradly Whitford and Colin Hanks, to make a lunatic action comedy movie every episode, plus Whitford was genius in Cabin in the Woods, so I could see Stath and Whitford (as an offbeat choice).
What about Bill Hader, who was the best thing about unfunny dud 'Paul'? He needs a starring role and this could be JUST the thing for him.

But we want to hear from you! what would be your pairing for a Stath action comedy?

Anyone but fuckin' Seth Rogen... got it?

 

Written by The Kick Ass Kid