Sunday, February 17, 2013


So A Good Day to Die Hard has been released and lets be honest, the reviews have been terrible but I loved it, I went in with low expectations and came out getting exactly what I wanted, a Die Hard movie with Bruno, kicking ass and quipping like the badass he is.
Who Farted?

The question is, why do we love Bruce Willis???
What makes him a great action hero???
I mean he’s not built like a Sly or an Arnie, even in the original Die Hard he started out as someone who seemed very unwilling to take on Gruber and his batch of terrorist/robber bastards but he is very much held in the same justified esteem as Sly and Arnie.

Personally speaking, Sly and Arnie are the guys we want to be, huge, tough and with the one liners. Whereas Willis is the everyman we can relate to, not extremely well built, down on his luck at times, some hair thinning but he can stand on his own when he needs to, kick arse and always be ready with a well placed quip. His characters are always different, and he seems to like genre hopping as much as he can, but lets be honest, Willis will be known for being an action legend.

This year Willis will appear at the cinema in 4 action movies, A Good Day To Die Hard, Sin City 2, Red 2 and as the original Action Man himself 'G.I. Joe' in G.I. Joe 2. Its the genre that truly made him who he is, and he keeps returning to keep the genre alive.

Who didn’t have a huge smile on their face when at the end scene of Expendables 2, a great shot of Arnie, Sly and Willis were all there machining gun bad guys??? Personally speaking that was a shot in a movie I thought I would never see, and it shows how much we the audience and, a legend in his own right, Sly, holds Willis in such high regard.
One of the GREATEST moments in movie history EVER. FACT

Nothing quite portrays Willis as the down on his luck, but he can kick your ass while making you laugh, hero than Joe Hallenback. The Last Boy Scout is truly, in my opinion, one of the greatest action movies of the nineties. Willis gets cheated on, beaten up and his daughter mocks him, yet we still want him to win and we all think, I wish I was as cool as him.
I will be reviewing the whole movie at some point, so I won’t gush over it too much but listen to our latest commentary of it, myself and The Kick Ass Kid LOVE this movie.
Wayans, your agent is on the phone, this is the best film you'll ever be in

So Willis isn’t our typical action hero, but in my opinion the most relatable. He is still out there making action and I will never grumble about that. Once I see him on screen, I see the smirk and he shoot the baddies, I will never tire of him as an action hero.
Well its been 25 years now since Die Hard was released, Willis has gone the distance and sir I salute you, keep doing what you’re doing, cut out the comedy stuff if you want, but please keep saving the world.
The Doc and The Kid thinks you’re great and damn, we wish we could be as cool as Bruno!

- The Doc

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Action movies we can't wait for!

A strong premise and a trailer that promises a great looking car chase has us excited for Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's next starring role.
Out February 22nd
Tom Cruise fights Aliens on a distant planet but all may not be as it seems. The real reason I want to see this though? This image from the trailer...
Out April 19th

KICK ASS 2 - Balls to the Wall
While we don't intend to cover a lot of superhero stuff here on the blog, technically these aren't superheroes and secondly the first film was a joyous celebration of ultra violence, awesome action and fantastic swearing. We hope this continues for the sequel. Obviously the lack of Brit helmer Matthew Vaughn is a little cause for concern but we have our fingers crossed for this entertaining slice of lycra clad ass kicking.
Out June 28th
While Ryan Reynolds isn't exactly a huge selling point for us, how about Kevin Bacon, Jeff "The Dude" Bridges, Robert Knepper from The Transporter 3 and Dr.Action Hall-Of-Famer JAMES mutherfunking HONG! Based on a graphic novel about a bunch of undead policemen, this could be some seriously cool action fun. We hope.
Out July 19th
Say what you like about the first one, the fact that Trejo's machete wielding federale is back is a good thing. It means lots of over-the-top action, shexy ladiesh and tons o'blood letting. What's not to love?
Out September 13th
Outside of The Expendables this will be the first time where the two powerhouses of 80s action will share the screen. Stallone's been to prision before in Tango & Cash and Lock Up and the high concept of this action thriller is as intriguing as it is exciting. Sadly the lackluster and baffling responses to the fantastic The Last Stand and brilliant Bullet to the Head might effect this genius idea at the box office but let's hope not, let's hope people pull their heads out of their arses and realise that Stallone and Schwarzenegger in a movie together like this is a dream come true for all mankind.
Out September 27th

Statham has a busy work sheet at the moment and a good thing too because we need our favourite British action star to keep working! Hummingbird is all about an ex-special forces soldier finding himself homeless. No word yet on how much action there is, I think Statham described it more as a drama but whatever it is we'll be there opening night. Here are a few more pictures from the set:
Originally intended as a Sylvester Stallone starring film, Sly, instead, handed this to his Expendables co-star Statham. The story of a DEA Agent tangling with a local meth druglord in small town America stars, apart from Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder and Kate Bosworth.
Both films are currently listed as having 2013 release dates although I imagine one will be early next year.
Then there's Expendables 3 news about it starting shooting as soon as this autumn!!
Stay Tuned, mumble and carry a big fucking gun - The Kick Ass Kid!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

What's wrong with critics and action films?

Figures from Rotten Tomatoes:
The Last Stand - 59% Audience 68%
Parker - Critics 38% Audience 63% 
Bullet To The Head - 49% Audience 71%

I just got back from seeing Sylvester Stallone's latest film Bullet To The Head and basically I loved it. Was it flawless? no but was it well acted, well directed, with a great soundtrack and some great violent action? damn right it was! 
I am going to leave the full and official review to the doctor himself but something struck me checking out reviews and the like online after the film, I don't read them before the film I want to go in fresh, and that was when it comes to action, critics and audiences seem to be on opposite sides to each other.
The above scores from that loathsome and divisive website Rotten Tomatoes illustrate my point quite well and that's the only reason they're there.

Why can't critics review action well? maybe it's the same for all genres they arrogantly deem beneath them, maybe horror and comedy fair just as badly, I don't know I haven't done the research, but lately it sure feels like action is taking a beating.

My philosophy is that you review stuff within its genre. If you're a big budget blockbuster then I am going to stack you up against everything from Ghostbusters to The Dark Knight, if you're a quirky indie film then everything from Rushmore to Looking for a Friend at the End of the World is fair game and if you're action, especially a certain type of action, then you are going to be reviewed alongside Cobra, Die Hard and Commando.

Why do critics seemingly just rate everything on the same pointless and impossible scale? 
Why do critics go on about action stars not having depth of character or action films not having intricate plots?
They are seemingly willfully missing the point! 
Did they not see that Jason Statham just fired a flare gun from the nose of a fucking plane onto a gasoline covered pontoon and blew the fucker sky high?! The nose of a plane people!! AWESOME!
They dismiss death defying stunts, often performed for real by mere actors wanting authenticity and, yes, in a safe environment but show me Dustin Hoffman willing to climb down a building, hang off a helicopter or run out of an exploding building, even if offered a harness he'd nasally refuse and toddle off somewhere.
They dismiss the screen presence, the charisma, the athleticism, the enjoyment, the humour, the catharsis, the drama and the great feeling we all get when good triumphs over evil.

I wrote an article on here about Jason Statham and how he has constantly tried to do more, achieve more, work with interesting people, take interesting scripts and push himself. When you hear these guys in interviews they've thought about the character, the director, the great stunts, the chases, they care about their audience and they want to entertain but because they're not Daniel Snore Lewis, who is yet to be in one film I want to see ever, they don't get the time of day!
I just want The Kick Ass kid to like me... *sob*
Also action stars, like Stallone and Statham never get credit for their characterisations why? because they're not playing Mr.Darcy or mumbling pretentious, impenetrable shit in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie?
Yet Stallone is never the same person twice, seriously. Watch Rocky, Rambo, The Expendables, Cobra, Demolition Man, Bullet To The Head, hell watch fucking Over The Top for christ sake and each one is different. He uses different voices, changes his appearance, thinks about the way his character would walk, talk and the different weapons his guy would use to pulverise his next low-rent hood... all important things and all on screen for you to see.

Do you know how I know critics are full of shit? well look at the way they coo and swoon when someone like Stallone does a film like Copland or Bruce Willis does sensitive in Twelve Monkeys, they practically fall over their collective tongues to lick the stars balls! Or what about when they actually get in a room with these icons to interview them and they turn into girly, sycophantic wretches, just seconds away from wetting their draws in excitement. Then they get home to their little rooms and write about how there wasn't enough serious drama or character development in Expendables 2. Morons.
Serious drama just shit itself
The same goes for comedians when they play-it-straight, the critics act all surprised and taken a back that these guys can do a great performance but year after year they have entertained and excited audiences everywhere. That's no easy feet you know and should be acknowledged.

Our beloved action stars are having a rough time in the market place so far in 2013. It's down to a combination of the gun violence debate, bad press, bad marketing and a changed audience, that's clearly now 12 and would rather see glittery vampires, zombies in love, endless remakes and Paranormal Activity 14 (this time it slams a door and turns off a light in night vision! ooooh!) than these icons of cinema perform tremendous acts of physical endurance all wrapped up in an awesome, timeless tale that'll make you forget your rotten existence for 90 minutes!

I can't help but wander, though, that the rough time would be alleviated somewhat if some of these critics lightened the fuck up, pulled the 'worthy' 'earnest' drama stick out of their ass and reviewed some of these films as the damn good time that they are and are clearly meant to be and urged people to go see them. I have even read critics condemn perfectly good action films by getting involved in the gun debate instead of saying "That's reality and these are MOVIES". It's so irritating, unprofessional and down right bad at their job to not critique them within their own wheelhouse. 

Lastly, critics, stop fucking mentioning how old these guys are and how they're 'passed it'. Please call me when you're 64 and lets see if you could make Expendables 1, brake your neck, recover and then get back to work in a manner of days. It's awesome these guys are old and kicking ass, I'd take 1 Schwarzenegger over 50 Sam Worthingtons that's for damn sure! and how come Eastwood gets a pass? oh yeah because occasionally he directs worthwhile dramas about women who can box or war films about a battle from 70 years ago that everyone should really have gotten over by now! 
Get over yourself critics!
You're worthless idiot hacks and if you had any testicles you'd be dangerous.

Love The Kick Ass Kid

Friday, February 1, 2013

New China O'Brien 2 Commentary out today

Over the last couple of weeks Dr.Action and the Kick Ass Kid have covered China O'Brien and China O'Brien 2 as part of a look at women in action films. You can find these and all our other 80s and 90s action movie commentaries right here:
Or by clicking the tab above marked commentaries.

You can also watch THE FULL MOVIES of both China O'Brien's on the website. Where we can we try and provide the film too so you don't need to source it yourself or even leave the comfort of your computer.

If you're watching your action without us you're doing it wrong!